Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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