Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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