Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
