Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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