now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
