I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
