JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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