I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i dont even know how to be here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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