let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
