Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
