I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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