where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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