you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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