i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
