omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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