Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
