Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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