I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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