id be glad to
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
