I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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