I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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