I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
