i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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