I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
