guys are not supposed to queef...right?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
