Im at strip club and am horny
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
