The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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