I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
