the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
