So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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