just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
