Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
