I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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