If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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