He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
