He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
