somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
