dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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