Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
