You're my little dorito
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
