I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize