quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize