I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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