what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize