i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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