Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
40s are totally the cure
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
