Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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