I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
