3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
