I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
