oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
