He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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