He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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