You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I didn't shave. On purpose
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
