If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you traded sex for a burrito?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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