You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
