At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
