STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
