We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
