Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
