We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
