I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
