I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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