I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
